I was a jerk. Though there are still vestiges of it, but by
and large I can now categorize myself a "non-jerk". It happened a few
months back when it occurred to bring down the walls I and the society had
created around me. Hence live a life as per my true nature and not that
dictated/directed by others directly or indirectly. Live a life unshackled and
free.
Though I felled the major wall alone, there were other walls
which I could bring down with my friend Vinayaka's assistance. He was there
when I was hammering the walls down as bricks and concrete met their grave. He
could understand my state. We debated without bringing the societal norms and
rules. We talked as individuals- unaffected by the goods/bads and dos/don'ts of
the society. It felt so brave, so humanly. Those lengthy debates gave openness
to my thoughts, my questions and my confusions. They brought to my fore my
natural self- with all its beauty and ugliness. I had to accept both as mine. I
have benefitted a lot by interacting with him. The openness with which we discussed
everything- including our personal lives- has given me an insight into another
important aspect of my being- a sense that I cannot finish with me, but have
something beyond too. The last Kumaraparvata was just symbolic; we have scaled
so many of Kumaraparvatas that had weakened our self. Now life looks so
blissful and celebratory.
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