Straightforwardness

I know a few people who call themselves "straightforward". These guys, pride calling themselves so. As per my understanding, it means saying or doing what they think is right.

I can't call myself that. I agree that this quality has its positives. You can be yourself all the time. You enjoy the freedom of doing whatever you feel like. You can bring the situation as is- good or bad- to the notice of the concerned. That's it, I think. But like any other "good" quality like humorous, altruistic, loving, trusting etc that too has pitfalls.

I think doing anything without use of intelligence is risky. What use is of our being humans if we don't read the situation and act intelligently. Straightforwardness sans intelligence is dangerous. So, whenever I use this term in this blog henceforth, I mean the one without intelligence.

At the core of this quality is a certain degree of egoism. An attitude - 'I am like this, accept me like this or get lost'. But, I think we are missing a crucial point here. We are dealing with humans and not machines. We don't 'command' or 'instruct' people, but 'talk' with them, have a 'dialogue' with them. It reminds me of a session I had attended on decision making recently that asked us to keep emotions out. I may become a "good" decision maker, but will I remain human without emotions? I argue why keep anything out? Emotions or otherwise. Why not deal comprehensively- acknowledging everything that exists.

Our world cannot be divided into black and white i.e. bad or good. Each of us has traces of both- various shades of grey. We can ill afford to overlook this reality.

I am not saying kill your identity, but just asking you to look at the bigger picture. By making some alterations like using softer words, softer tone, minor adjustments, a little letting go can do wonders in our lives and of those who love us and those we love. We will have a far fruitful life letting go of our straitjacketed straightforwardness and adopting intelligent relaxation.