Post wedding accounts

Dear readers, it feels great to talk to you after a long gap.

It was early this year, when my amma finally convinced me to get married (I was not against marriage, but I was not for it, either). I discussed with my friends and then googled, but all to no avail... none concretely educated me whether one should marry or not. Like any other thing in this world, there were pros and cons. At some point I felt I was over thinking this issue and decided to live through this phase of life also and see what life has in store for me.

I was able to meet some great girls during the bride-hunt phase. My uncle who’s an expert in horoscope matching did the first filter, then it was my amma and then finally proposals came to my table. Then the one-to-one talks... my constant questions- 'Your hobbies?', 'Career plans?' and standard infos- 'Founded NGO- Parinati', 'Can play guitar' and add to it the tadka 'Very simple but highly intelligent' line by amma and my 'Know me' was ready! Match making is an elaborate market and one is expected to get packaged well to attract good proposals. From outset I was against commercialization of human-relations. I am now happy that the proposal that materialized was the least commercialized.

Wedding is a big thing. I am not comfy hogging limelight, but now I was center of all attractions. Everybody had comments- smart but a little dark, good but doesn't wear good clothes, why no smile, talks too loudly, not easy to get along, more 'smarth' than 'smarth' themselves... I got irritated initially and have uttered a few words to the effect of mind your own business. Later I realized that we Indians can do anything but that. So made peace with all this.

One blog is definitely not enough to cover an event like wedding, so drawing curtains now. I admit, that though it has been most expensive and most pressured phases, I will remember it as the sweetest phase of my life. Special thanks to Namita for making my life as beautiful as her smile!

Bachelors' Day Out

Finally we made it!!!

We were planning a Bachelors Trip (I am getting married soon) for over a couple of months. The plans moved from Sri Lanka to Andaman Nicobar to Goa to Madumalai Jungle Resort to Chikmagalur and finally on the eve of starting the trip it was Wonder La amusement park in Bengaluru. Our trips are like Kingfisher flights- more cancellations than conductions. But this one was successful! Even the days shifted from last weekend of September to first weekend of October then 3rd week and finally the last weekend.

Finally it was Vinni(Vinayaka), Avi (Avinash), Guruji (Murali), Paddu (Pradeep) and AK (me).

It was a pleasant morning last Saturday. Vinni, Murali and I set out to Avi's place and from there a gang of 5 left on 3 super bikes! Uppit and vade breakfast was good. I had my best drive on NICE road. The road, the scenery around... you feel you have landed on a different planet. Beautiful!

We reached Wonder La at around 11:30. After a failed attempt to get 25% off on tickets by proving we are college students, we set our feet in the amusement park. Felt like half of Bengaluru was there. We started with a dungeon ride which was supposed to be scary, except for Avi and Murali, none among the over 10k people there felt that. Then we all went for 'Free Fall'. This is very scary. The hydraulic lifts you for 20-25 feet and drops you from there... man, I was mad... with screaming Paddu beside me, it felt like my last moment! That's the only non-water activity that Paddu participated, for others he was just holding our glasses, keys, waving at us etc.

Then we went for 'Mixer'- supposed to be toughest in the park. I was reluctant. It looked very dangerous. But Avi and Vinni, convinced me (or should it be confused). Man, I am still wondering how I could be alive. Then another one, which was made to rotate our bodies senselessly. The long queues for all these didn't deter our spirits. Then we had sumptuous meal. After taking a break and self glorification talks we set out to water sports. First we went into the pool and got drenched. It was real fun. Splashing water over each other. Paddu, Vinni and I had special interest with this pool. The Rain disco was my favorite. Annamma dance, Mithun da dance and Nagin dance were on full display. The tunnel water ride, pendulum, lazy river and Flat slides were the sports we played. We, except Vinni I think, were nervous but we all made it. It was great fun and a great opportunity to set aside all our fears and self created phobias. We all did it.

The greatest part of this day out was our bonding. We had a lovely time. Paddu's witty one liners, Avi's philosophical views on happiness, Vinni's good-for-nothing inputs, Murali's insights on purpose of life and my... (well, I will leave this job for other 4 to do).

This was the first Bachelor's day out/trip of our group... are we getting modernized? But we don't look like that... A great weekend!!

Bare necessities…

As I set my foot towards my home from my work place, a few days back, my mind was a confused lot. I was greeted by a cloudy sky outside. It was about to rain. Things like- 'should I do or shouldn't I', 'is this right or that', 'speak or remain silent', 'who's mine, who's not', 'should I share with someone or not'... and what not. A mess. It is in the nature of Mind to remain confused and unclear and worry.

I had walked a few furlongs, and then a few lines of a poem I had read long back flashed. Here it goes-

Look for the bare necessities

The simple bare necessities

Forget about your worries and your strife

I mean the bare necessities

Old Mother Nature's recipes

That brings the bare necessities of life

The bare necessities of life will come to you...

The assuring line of 'Bare necessities of life will come to you' brought whiff of relaxed air into my heart. I think we have all had experience of something taken care when we were not conscious about it. I have had many such experiences- a case in point is I never look through rear view when I drive, but somehow I never met with anything untoward or another case is that I joined a decent workplace without actually preparing for it... somehow it is taken care of. You can call it the power of God, if you want to.

It reassured the futility of worrying and behaving as if I am in control of all things. In actuality I am not in control of anything. How relaxing is this fact. I playfully call it -"Chennakeshava eno ond madtane" (Chennakeshava will do something about it).

Felt these words will sooth an aching heart.

I am so beautiful

Love others, as you love yourself- goes a famous saying. The emphasis of this saying lies in the first half. But, what about the second half? Do we love ourselves? Is the answer a thumping YES?

By loving ourselves, I don't mean being egoist, egotist or bragging about oneself. All these are not love in first place. I mean acceptance- accepting ourselves as we are and finding beauty in it. Whatever exists is God's creation, then how can anything be ugly or bland? It has to be beautiful. So we must be beautiful.

We don't like our eyes, our nose, our hair, the way we look, our nature, our decisions, our bank balance, our mistakes, our education, our town, our non-acceptance by others... I am sure you will agree with me that this list is without end. But why shouldn't we step a couple of steps back and see them in new light... we will find beauty in all of these. There are no templates to which our attributes should adhere to be called "beautiful". You need not come out with any list of items to prove that you are beautiful, you are beautiful and that's it.

Once we have accepted ourselves, we can be more confident, more loving, more forgiving and more "ourselves". We will bring more of ourselves in all that we do or don't. Life seems blessed.

Engineering Mania

I was chatting recently with a friend of my realtive who was searching for a job. He was an "Engineer". He had done his Engineering from a college in remote part of Karnataka. I had not heard its name, so tried googling- believe it or not, the college didn't had a website. That generated in me a new thought series that led to this blog.

We are gripped by "Engineering mania". Everybody wants to be/ their children to be an "Engineer". Without BE you are a shame to your parents, you may not get girl for marriage, you may not get loans and may be you may not hold yourself in good esteem; somewhere down you would be cursing- yourself, your parents, stars or God.

My own friend surprises me with his stupidity. I wonder how he even passed his 10th. But lo, he is an "Engineer". He is not one of his kinds. A relative of mine can't frame a sentence in English and he too is an Engineer. My experience tells me that our farmer, vegetable vendor or auto rickshaw have better wisdom, intelligence and managing skills than we "Engineers".

I have nothing against Engineers and I myself am an Engineer. But due to the drop in the quality of technical education, they are Engineers just for name sake. The tag of 'BE' just creates a fake self image. This is devastating. The states of Karnataka, TN and AP have ridiculous number of Engineering colleges.

My take is, study anything, Engineering or otherwise, but do it in among top say 10-15 colleges of your country (or at least your state), else don't. I feel it is far better doing any other course in a college that has quality that doing Engineering is a poor college. The fields of Medicine, Law, Administrative Services, Defence Services, Threatre, Fashion, Arts, Politics, Journalism etc are like forgotten.

There is scarcity of quality. In a scene from 3 Idiots where Farhan explains to his dad- if I take up photography, my salary might be small, car might be small, house might be small, but I will be happy- has a great lesson for all of us. It is far better being a good photographer than a bad Engineer. Isn't it?

Let's come out of our "follow" mentality as the one who we are following may be blind. Let's be ourselves and do that what's good for us. It's always better to trust our judgment as none knows us better.

Best things in life are free

In this cashocratic (rule of cash) day, there may not be many takers for this line, but that will not stop me from saying what I have to. Best things in life are indeed, free.

There is a notion that I have seen in my near and dear ones that money somehow brings happiness- more money is more happiness. I don't deny that money is needed for sustenance and to give you all that you need as a human being. But I fail to understand the link between money and happiness and as an extension, freedom. I recollect a few lines from what my teacher had once said- money can give you food but not hunger, bed but not sleep, medicine but not health, fear in people but not their love.

My friend wanted to buy a car and he bought, did it end there and was he happy? No, now he wants a "better" model one. Will this “better” phenomenon ever see an end? Think for yourself. This is not just about cars, it can be anything.

In contrast, have we ever experienced a silent walk watching the sun set, have we hugged our loved ones tight, have we chatted away with our friends and laughed loudly, have we appreciated someone for a good job done, have we sung and danced for ourselves,  or just lied down quietly doing just nothing, weren't they magical? Weren't they the things that made us more humans? Weren't they the moments when we felt connected to our real selves, shedding all our assumed "profiles"? What is a human being without feelings or emotions? A machine? Did you notice that none of these things cost me anything. By cost, I don't mean just money. Didn't we feel happy and blissful? What is the purpose of all human efforts and actions? Isn't it happiness and freedom? And we found that without spending anything. That's because we already have all that is required to be happy and free.

I am reminded of a story in Alexander the Great's life. Alexander comes to Diogenes, a philosopher, to seek his blessing before he sets out on a war. Diogenes is lying on a riverside with his pet dog. Diogenes (D) - why war? Alexander (A) - Because I want to become the king of whole world. D- Why? A- So that I can rest peacefully. Diogenes smiles and tells the dog - 'Look at this foolish king, he will kill people and destroy lives just to do what we both are doing already without moving an inch'.

Just because something is free or less expensive, it need not be useless.

5th Blogversary

Don't scratch your head, indeed there is no word- blogvesary, it's my contribution to English. Blog + Anniversary= Blogversary. Not convinced? Like I care...

Last August 30th, my blog completed 5 full years. Even after all these years, if I am still motivated to write blogs- of course, I am- I think it is the only thing that I have done with consistency in my life. I started this blog after getting inspired by my cousin, who was a blogger. I had created it in 'Net Centre' of my alma-mater- R V College of Engineering, Bengaluru. My first post was a travellogue, about a trip we friends had made to Shravanabelagola.

I have seen so many changes from that day. The 'BlogSpot' where my blog is, has been now taken by Google, my blog which had simple template has had hundreds of changes, the lengths of my posts have dropped.

A friend of mine pointed to me that the bandwidth of my topics should increase. I smiled. For, I am neither a news reporter nor a philosopher to give my take on different issues. I write about whatever I feel strongly at that moment. I don't prepare my posts, I simply write them. So there is space for small contradictions in my writings. The posts are leisurely wanderings of my mind.

The blog has given me a wonderful opportunity to express and concretize my feelings. Special thanks and love to all of you, the readers, as your comments and opinions have been a great motivator to keep this going. Hope you continue doing so... honestly, that doesn't matter. ;)

Mobile Phones

Mobile phones are by far the most popular invention in the history of humankind. Popular, for nothing seems to have reached the masses as much as the mobiles phones have. In countries like India, in villages where we cannot find a school, a clinic or even a toilet mobile phones galore.

The advantages of mobile phones are already known to the reader- staying in touch, networking, emergencies etc etc. But like any other thing in this world- as long as there is limited use it is good but overuse can be devastating. Mobiles are no exception to this rule.

By using mobiles, the bliss of now here is lost. It is important to enjoy the present. But in the tussle to keep in touch with someone in a distant land, the beauty of this moment is ignored. I have practiced No-Mobile days a few times and believe me they have been beautiful memories. You care for yourself and your family and friends who are present with you. The beauty of Mother Nature is experienced.

Touch the leaves and flowers with your bare hands, walk bare footed and just see the magic of connecting with Nature. Talk to a stranger. Spend a quite walk with yourself. Here's life.

For all the important duties which need the use of phones, we can happily use the land line (or similar alternatives). By being in the present and appreciating the wonder that is this moment, living as if its our last moment bring the flood of bliss. What I am saying of mobiles holds good for other technological developments too, the overuse is making us less humans.

Our past is dead, future is uncertain; this moment is what we have got... Let's bloody live.

Murgod Dindi

Absolute beauty!

Last week (12 and 13 August) I participated in the dindi (padayatre) of Shri Chidambar Mahaswami of Murgod. The dindi is conducted on last Shravan Monday every year. It begins from Belgaum on Saturday and reaches Murgod on Monday. This was my third participation- last 2, some 6 years back.

We joined the dindi party on Sunday morning at Pant Balekundri. The grandeur of the dindi can be estimated from the fact that over 1000 people- children, youths, adults and old and from different walks of life participated with great fervor and vigor. It was a great celebration- for a great cause of realizing our Higher Self.

The route that the party takes is Belgaum- Pant balekundri (night halt, dinner, freshening up) - Marihal (Breakfast) - Karadiguddi (Snacks)- Hanumanahatti (Lime juice) - Sutagatti IB (lunch) - Nesargi (Snacks, dinner, night halt, freshening up, breakfast) - Inchal Cross (Snacks, Inchal is my ancestral place) - Chachadi Cross (Lunch) - Murgod Cross (Snacks) - Murgod. A total of over 50 kilometers. The arrangements made for the pilgrims are par excellence.

The entire party is submerged in the sea of joy. For these three days, everybody forgets tensions, stress, mundane issues, fights and grudges and seeks Freedom and Divinity. All through, the pilgrimage people get involved in namasmaran and bhajan. The happiness found during the journey and after reaching Murgod is pristine. Everything seems divine... pure. It brings one close to Nature. I cannot go further than this as beyond a certain point words fail to convey the feelings.

We had dinner (mahaprasad) arranged by the Chidambar temple on Monday and rested there for the night. Next day we left for Belgaum to take a bus to Bangalore.

Courier boy

After having lunch as I picked a newspaper for reading, I saw a young man seated beside me. He was tall, slim and dark with vermilion on his forehead. I saw that the poor chap had a broken wrist. He had plaster wrapped around it.

He was in hurry. He was calling a few people from my company from his mobile phone and was asking them in broken English to collect their parcels. He was fiddling nervously with the electronic equipment that's used to get the receiver's signatures. He carried a big bag with scores of parcels in it.

I felt sorry for the young man. He would have taken so much pain to reach here, with his broken hand and a heavy bag. Looking at his furrowed brows one could easily tell that he still has a lot of unfinished business before he calls it a day. He may even not have had his lunch still, tough it is over 30 mins past 2. He would have so many pressing problems back home that he was working without even caring for his broken wrist.

Life seems so hard at times. It seems so merciless. But accepting the conditions as they are and working sincerely has always been the only way to lead a meaningful life, after all.

"Forward"

'This generation is very "forward" ', I was told, some how meaning I don't belong to "this" one. I got various explanations to support the statement. "They" have "many" girl friends/boy friends even when they are in school. They look "trendy" and wear fancy clothes, I was told.

That got me thinking. I checked the meaning of 'forward' in an online dictionary and it meant 'advanced'. So, I was ok in understanding the meaning then.

Now what is the unit of "forward"? Number of gf/bf you are "maintaining"- A is 5 forward points and B is 7 forward points?

Though I am not and don't want to behave like an oldie that says- "this generation is spoilt". But I would like to share a few points. Love, they say is the purest and most divine experience. Now if you "fallen" in and "risen" from "love" tens of times, then you have not experienced love. And if you have not had the purest and most divine experience, then how can you be "forward"?

People say times have changed. But I feel times have not changed but people have grown stupider. There was, is and will be no replacement for wisdom, intelligence, fearlessness and hard work be whichever times and whichever era. May be our workplaces and type of work have changed, but that's no change. Those who do not possess these golden qualities cannot be called "forward" in any respect.

No sane person ever wears dirty or torn clothes out of choice. So any neat and decent dress that is not odd for the occasion should be good enough. Everybody need not like being in flashy dresses, do they not have space in this world? I am not saying do not wear such clothes, but just that they need not be the deciding factor for anything. Gandhiji (in his khadi clothes) and JRD Tata (in his 3 piece) both were great icons. It’s their work that made them that. They were forward.

A person's "forward"-ness should be in his thoughts and actions. It’s the gilted gold that shines more than the pure one.

Water bottles

Among only a few things that I dislike in life are the water bottles- the one that are ubiquitous in any IT company. Yeah... right. The same ones that are filled religiously every morning and are adored on desks. I have a strong dislike for these bottles- in particular the purple color ones.

Readers, I believe are intelligent enough to by now have inferred that this bottle is not among my prized possession. Despite thinking hard for several hours and several times, I have lost terribly each time to understand why they are required and how anything for that matter is affected by their presence or absence.

Water bottles are ok with school boys and girls or if you diseased or aged or if you are engaged into any physically challenging activities like cycling, trekking or may be if you are in a desert. But here, its 25-30 year olds and not diseased and people in IT company are known for their potbellies, so no question of physically challenging work either and with AC at 16 degs, its far from being desert. Then why water bottles? I would say why not walk a few steps to the water-filter and have sips whenever you are thirsty? There are a few guys whose only work in office is filling these little witches.

Another issue is the problem caused to the people who are sensible like me to not have a bottle. These pig-heads stand for hours filling that little thing careless about the irritation caused to the guys waiting behind them with paper-cups in their hands.

If you too possess a water bottle and got hurt by my blog, then, I will congratulate myself for my blog served its purpose.

Battasha

I call myself a simple man with simple needs. I find happiness in small events and small moments or even in non-happenings. I never felt a need of a personal vehicle until recently. The cab provided by my employer, centre of the city home location where almost everything is just 5 minutes walk away and my concern for environment always dissuaded from having a personal vehicle. But thanks to changed conditions, I decided to have one. I have named it 'Battasha'- after the pet horse of my family spiritual master.

Its wine red color is intoxicating. Its crystal headlights have a glow of a new born. Its sound when ignited is like a baby's cackle. It’s so beautiful. My baby... my darling... Muah. After the puja at the Ganapati temple yesterday it's looking even dashing... many scootys, peps and dios are swooning over it!

It’s my first vehicle- bought from my earnings. The thought is so sweet. I drove it home from the showroom yesterday. It was heavenly. As the rain gods sprinkled holy waters from heaven, I took left and right turns carefully. I made sure it's not hurt one bit. I have a dream of going alone to a peaceful countryside and enjoying a sunset with it, preferably lakeside. The next weekend I think I would be able to do that.

I thank Vinayaka, my friend, for finally convincing me to buy it and then accompanying me to the showroom in Domlur to book it and also for saying 'no' to take it home yesterday- that made me drive it 12 kms amidst peak hour traffic on Bangalore roads which gave me great confidence. I celebrate my 'Happy walla Happy B day' this Saturday; I think it's my best gift to myself. Those who want to pillion ride with me, please contact my personal secretary. You will be issued a token and will be informed when shall that dream of yours comes true!

Straightforwardness

I know a few people who call themselves "straightforward". These guys, pride calling themselves so. As per my understanding, it means saying or doing what they think is right.

I can't call myself that. I agree that this quality has its positives. You can be yourself all the time. You enjoy the freedom of doing whatever you feel like. You can bring the situation as is- good or bad- to the notice of the concerned. That's it, I think. But like any other "good" quality like humorous, altruistic, loving, trusting etc that too has pitfalls.

I think doing anything without use of intelligence is risky. What use is of our being humans if we don't read the situation and act intelligently. Straightforwardness sans intelligence is dangerous. So, whenever I use this term in this blog henceforth, I mean the one without intelligence.

At the core of this quality is a certain degree of egoism. An attitude - 'I am like this, accept me like this or get lost'. But, I think we are missing a crucial point here. We are dealing with humans and not machines. We don't 'command' or 'instruct' people, but 'talk' with them, have a 'dialogue' with them. It reminds me of a session I had attended on decision making recently that asked us to keep emotions out. I may become a "good" decision maker, but will I remain human without emotions? I argue why keep anything out? Emotions or otherwise. Why not deal comprehensively- acknowledging everything that exists.

Our world cannot be divided into black and white i.e. bad or good. Each of us has traces of both- various shades of grey. We can ill afford to overlook this reality.

I am not saying kill your identity, but just asking you to look at the bigger picture. By making some alterations like using softer words, softer tone, minor adjustments, a little letting go can do wonders in our lives and of those who love us and those we love. We will have a far fruitful life letting go of our straitjacketed straightforwardness and adopting intelligent relaxation.

My Parinati and I

When Avi and Ganesh had told be about starting an NGO on the lines of Rural Reach program run by Infosys- one of whose programs we three had attended- I had accepted with enough dose of suspicion, having known my friends to be more of talkers than doers, or as my fiancee, Namita, calls it 'ashirvad (without prasad)'. But last week when our organization completed 4 years, I was proved wrong and felt proud of it.

Parinati was special. It was like evening rains after a sultry day. It brought pleasantness in my life. Jnaneshwari, a book that's considered among the superior spiritual book of all times, lays emphasis on sharing. It says none is un- or under- qualified to share. Parinati gave me this wonderful opportunity. To share my knowledge, money, effort and time- even though I have the former two not in decent amounts.

Parinati is a education society- that supports education of students from underprivileged families mainly from rural areas. Parinati has been able to touch so many lives- the students, their parents. That brings a sense of satisfaction that a small bit that you have done has impacted lives in a positive way. It feels very good when parents to students we have given scholarships to call me and thank me and say that their lives have better because of us or when the students of the schools we visit recognize us and happily tell us that they are using the books we had donated last year or when they take our autographs. The fact that we cover untouched parts of the state brings even more satisfaction. The treatment I had received when I had visited Yadwad last still comes before my eyes.

I was slightly reclusive. But Parinati brought many wonderful people in my life. Members, who became my fast friends. Vendors, students, parents, teachers, government officers. Without meeting these ladies and gentlemen, my life would have been less colorful. It puts a great responsibility to represent Parinati in these places- but let me admit it so pleasing. I learnt several things in the process to make our activities meaningful and rational.

I loved finances. I have been maintaining Parinati's finances since its inception. Then I have prepared and presented 3 Financial Budgets. It has made me never to be void of good thoughts and great memories. Such great is the association with Parinati that I am always filled with positive thoughts.

Thank you God that thou made Parinati happen in my life.

Whatever happened to humanity?

In this mad mad materialistic world, often I find myself alone. Materialism is not bad but it shouldn't grown into a demon that will swallow humanness from people. But either we are very close or have already crossed the stage. I have seen people who call themselves religious and god-believing treat others without basic human courtesy. The fault of those others is that they don't have as much wealth or health or even imaginary things like caste than their perpetrators. What a shame!

How dare we call ourselves a civilized world when we can't see a human being in a human being? We see the brand of clothes he is wearing, whether or not he owns a car and if yes, which one, whether or not he owns a house in a metropolis, how extravagant he is, how does he look- is he fair and handsome. But what about the man's humility, his knowledge, his love, his gentlemanliness, his simplicity, his sympathetic nature, his emotions, his being void of bad habits... where do these things figure? Man has become a commodity. Everybody wants a nice product. Humans are expected to be everything but that.

The problem I find is that there is a ready template of an ideal life. Our lives are compared with this and when we find difference we call it bad. But when will we acknowledge the fact that Nature has made us different- a simple fact that none other has the same fingerprint as mine proves it. We are not nuts or bolt manufactured by a machine. We are bound to be different. We are supposed to be what we are. But in this race of adhering to the template we are losing ourselves- our true nature. What a tragedy that the greatest human life we have got is being wasted in such fashion.

To my Teachers, With Love

Childhood is often likened to clay. Most important person who acts like an clay idol maker is our Teacher. Even in our scriptures, teachers are equaled to gods-Acharya devo bhava. Indeed teachers have a great role to play in our lives. They can make or break our lives. I remember my teachers today.

I am not "successful" for the world. May be, less than 1000 people even know that I exist. Perfect. But I am student of life and can distinguish between good and bad. That for me is good enough. And I owe a lot of this to my formative years and hence to my teachers.

Mrs. Devika and Sister. Catherine were my LKG and UKG teachers at St. Michaels, Dandeli. All through, I have been blessed to be my teacher's pet. I was good academically- among top 2 in the class- and naughty too. I still remember Mrs. Devika in splits narrating an incident of me hitting a girl's face with a duster and then emptying the dustbin on that girl, to my mother. My mother full of nerves.

Mrs. Cecilia and Mrs. Fernandez were my teachers who taught me to read and write texts in English and ever since English remains my dearest language. The beautiful stories of 'Beauty and Beast' and 'George Washington and Cherry Tree' narrated by Mrs. Cecilia are still fresh in my mind.

The motivation that I received from Mr. Devaraj and Mr. Killedar at KLE's Nipani when I was out-of-form is tremendous. They convinced me to bring myself into my work. Their work was not just restricted to my academics, but sports and cultural events. The role I played of a Post Master and my fumble in a skit at school Annual Day brings a sweet smile even as I type this. I remember my English teacher, Anita, who would even share her umbrella with me and my brother when we didn't had one.

Mrs. Kavita (Science and Math), Mrs. Renuka(Biology), Mrs. Pujar (Social Science and Kannada), Ms. Mary Diaz (English), Ms. Zai (Math), Late. Mrs. Rane(English), Ms. Deepa Pai and my tuition teacher- Geeta Raj were instrumental in making a shy and confident-less boy, that I was, to an assertive school topper. Ms. Deepa Pai's wiping my tears when I was chastised for playfully forging our Principal's signature, Ms. Diaz's inspirational words, Mrs. Rane's last words with me- asking me to take SSLC exams confidently as our school's reputation depended on me, Ms. Zai's blooming face when I had finally overtaken the former school topper, Mrs. Kavita's praise during the event to felicitate me and Mrs. Renuka's gently touching my cheeks to congratulate me on my SSLC results... what can I do to bring those magical moments back... It brings goosebumps when I relive them.

Oh man! What a life it has been! I am sure all of us have such endearing memories of our teachers. I bow low to my teachers.

Let's laugh with others

We all know the maxim- a friend in need is friend indeed. We have also heard that the person who sympathizes with us or gives us a shoulder to cry on when in distress is the one who is truly ours. I have realized over the years that more important than the person who cries when we cry is the one who laughs when we laugh- one who becomes happy when good things happen to us. If the first kind are rare then the second kind are rarer.

Even some of my friends, when I share some happy news seem very uncomfortable with their responses. They find it so difficult to come up with some positive expressions and words. Life is never a zero sum game. Our happiness has not come on account of somebody else's sorrows. What is happiness other than a state of mind? There are people who are happy having half-cup tea at a road-side stall and there are people who are sad even after buying a brand new bunglow just because the gate lock is not of their liking. So, why not be open and natural? Why not be happy at others happiness?

I am at the other side too. Over the years I have developed the attitude of celebrating others successes or happy moments, sometimes even more than themselves. Giving treats when they get a sal-hike, throwing bachelor parties, taking them for small getaways, playing colours, organizing birthday parties- sometimes it may feel a little ostensible or as some of my friends say foolish- but I know of no one "correct" way of living. It brings joy in doing things just out of happiness and not for any other purpose. It's blissful to do things that make others feel that this man is happy on your happiness; he is celebrating your success or happy events.

Let's have an open heart, let's do unconventional or "foolish" things, for they are called so because not many had the audacity to try them. There's nothing bad or ugly in this world.

These Rains...

Yesterday Bengaluru was washed by season's first rain, bringing cool and relief. It rained the whole evening. As it had been quite sometime that my face was hit by those pristine tiny drops, I went walking from the office to home- a distance of 8 kms.

The rain drops on my face and my arms felt like heaven. The aroma of wet mud was wafting through my heart. The breaths were deep and full. The leaves of trees gently touching my cheeks. There was silence in my mind. Everything appeared so beautiful- that dog running for cover, that man selling boiled nuts, that woman covering her head with her pallu, that boy jumping in that puddle, that cow in the middle of the road unmindful of anything...

There was celebration of life. Trees looked decked up, flowers refreshed, mud fragrant, animals lively and feelings deep. There is some strong link between rains and old memories. Suddenly you put brakes to the hustle-bustle of routine. Life goes on a rewind mode. Your school days, your college days, that smile of your teacher, that arm of that close friend on your shoulder, that morsel of your mother, that endearing touch of your father, that ringing of bell of your bicycle, that 'Mere Hansini... kahan uda chali' song of Kishore Kumar, that hot mirchi bhaji and chha, that Chemistry lab, that bespectacled lecturer, that eyes of that beggar standing at the college gate, that old jeans you wore full semester, that feeling of freedom... so much time seems to have passed.

Rains are so fertile.

Ramayana and Mahabharata

I have read more than half of Ramayana. It is not for nothing that it has been raised to epic status in our country. There is tremendous wealth in every event of it. There are fundamental differences between Ramayana and Mahabharata. In Mahabharata, there is no one hero and heroine. But Ramayana comes very close to our general assumption of a story- it has a hero, Ram- who does all the good things including bashing bad guys and a heroine, Sita- who is embodiment of all the virtues.

But Mahabharata is different. Here even Yudhistira who is known for his 'Truth' and 'Dharma', banishes them on the battle field. Arjun considered a great warrior had to kill Karna, Bhishma and Drona with deception. Even Krishna- who is called God follows "unrighteous" ways to help Pandavas win. These characters seem close to our selves. Pandavas cannot be called good guys and Kauravas bad guys rigidly. They just had varying degrees of grey qualities. To an extent that I felt pity for Duryodhana (the cause of the battle and so much bloodshed) after Bhima kills him. But Ram was white and demons were black in Ramayana. May be people had evolved after all there are so many years between the 2 epics. The description of Sita in Ramayana is to my special liking. Ramayana is Ram through out but in Mahabharata every person gets his/her share.

Mahabharata appears more colourful and happening than Ramayana. In Ramayana one can easily predict what a particular character's response will be to a given incident. But in Mahabharata, no. They surprise you by behaving in exact contrary to their known nature- Arjuna's deception, Krishna's mavericks, Duryodhana's friendship, Karna's loyalty, Bhishma's weakness, Drona's love, Draupadi's angst and so on. But in Ramayana it's impossible for Ram to betray- even his wife's abductors, it's impossible to Lakshmana to disobey his brother Ram, it's impossible for Dashratha to admonish his wife's evil asking of sending Ram in exile. Ramayana is full of love and romance. Dashratha's love for Ram- he even lays his life in the grief of his separation. Bharata's love for Ram- he even rejects the throne. Lakshmana's love for Ram- he even goes to exile when none asked for it. Of course Sita's love for Ram- she being a princess follows him to forest. Ram's love for his 3 mothers, father, brothers and even demons are sublime.

Both the epics are worth many reads and understanding. They enrich us in many ways and exalt our souls. They appear to be 2 oases in this mad mad world.

Beluru and Halebidu

First day, 31st March 2012, Saturday

This time it was a trip to historical places of Beluru and Halebidu. One partnership that can equal that of Sachin-Saurav's opening for India is Akshay-Vinayaka's I guess. As per the schedule we left Bengaluru bus stand at exactly 7 am by Bengaluru-Chikkamagaluru bus. This bus goes directly to Beluru. As usual we chatted, howled, laughed our way, so much so that the driver of the bus exclaimed that we both can beat 20 people in debate and called our talks "good time pass". Our talks (civilized people call it gibber) spanned a wide range from- scriptures to losing our culture to how stupid people are and how intelligent we are to of course girls- the fact that the last topic took 82.71% of our discussion time and effort is a different matter. We had breakfast at Kallur cross.

We reached Beluru at 12:30 pm. Took a room at Sumukha Residency. The receptionist was pretty. This hotel was stone's throw away from the Shri Chennakeshava temple complex- the reason of Beluru's fame. After freshening ourselves up we left for Yagachi dam- which is around 4 kms. We visited the back waters and had lovely time kayaking. It was meditating to sit idle in the middle of the waters, which was calm with occasional small waves. If this is not beauty, then what is? It was first of its feeling rowing a boat. Our screaming 'left-left right-right' was music to only our ears. We were given drop till Beluru by a bunch of college dropouts. We entertained them with tea and a puff. They have given their numbers and have promised us a great time if we were ever to visit Hassan again. Look, friendship knows no bounds!

Then after having 'haap cup cha' we proceeded to the Chennakeshava temple. The temple complex was started by a Hoysala king Vishnuvardhana Ballala and completed by Ravi Ballala- his grandson. It took 103 years to complete. The gopura is magnificent. We hired a guide for taking us around. Absolute Beauty! Beluru is celebration of femininity and womanhood- so much so that even Chennakeshava swamy (a form of Lord Vishnu) is dressed as a woman- not Bangalore types but- saree, nose-ring, waist-band, earrings, necklaces, ankle-lets and kumkum. The idol of the deity is magical. I was not able to move away from it. I visited the temple again in the evening just to see Him. The complex is huge. The Chennakeshava temple has 48 pillars- all different from each other. Just 2 of them are monoliths others are pentaliths. Monoliths- Ugranarasimha pillar (which is stupefying due to its intricate carvings) and Mohini pillar (true to its name it is indeed attractive). On Mohini pillar is Vishnu's female form- Mohini. Breathtaking! The compassionate yet dignified expression, the body language and the body itself. Whoa! I wish to write a separate blog on Mohini statue itself. This was the thing that impressed me the most. Then there are 'shila balikas' in their different dance poses. The temple is star-shaped like any other Hoysala temples. The temple has a base of 3 layers of rocks- first layer has carvings of elephants, second lions and third horses. Well, now how to express Beluru's beauty in words? I have realized the wealth of the words- Words are silver Silence is Golden. Indeed! I will remain silent with a final line- if you die without drinking the nectar of Beluru then yours was an incomplete life.

When I came out of the temple complex there was a feeling of completeness, a feeling of 'I have achieved whatever there is to be achieved'. Even Vinayaka told me that I behaved differently- such was the impact of Chennakeshava, Mohini and the whole temple itself. We finished the day with our talks which had even greater depths- our personal lives, Chennakeshava, essence of life, beauty of life. 'Girls' were conspicuous by their absence from our talks.

Next day, 1st April 2012, Sunday

We left for Halebidu. We reached at 11 am. This temple complex is dedicated to Lord Shiva. It has 2 huge shivlingas- Hoysaleshwara and Shantaleshwara. The nandis before them are one of India's largest and most beautiful. This complex is double the size of that of Chennakeshava's in Beluru. The architecture remains similar. The temple exterior is richer than Beluru's. But this temple- constructed by a minister in Hoysala kingdom- is incomplete, due to attacks from foreign armies. The temple is star-shaped and various stories from Ramayana and Mahabharata are carved on the walls. As Narasimhaswamy was the family-deity of Hoysalas, his idols appear regularly. But that feeling of completeness was somehow missing here in Halebidu.

We visited a museum and a Jain basdi and took private tempo to reach Hassan- listening to new Kannada songs through the dusty roads. We reached Hassan at 3pm. Had lunch at Sanman and took a KSRTC bus to namma Bengaluru with a satisfied yet heavy heart. Reached Bengaluru at 8:30pm.

In the company of men

A sense has born in me to know and understand what is closer to me first; as the farther things look attractive but where I am right now is more relevant. So decided to read and understand one of the epics of India- Mahabharata. It is an interpretation by the eminent C. Rajagopalachari.

The title of the blog was my first feeling after reading the first 50 pages. Mahabharata is the story of men. There is valor, there is courage, there is righteousness, there is deceit, there is love, there is lust, there is power, there is friendship, there are relationships, there is hatred, there is plotting, there is intelligence, there is wisdom, there is pretense, there is ego, there is renouncement, there is kindness, there is cruelty, there is honor, there is respect, of course there is politics... there is every emotion known to man. Hence this epic continues to throb even after thousands of years after it happened and continues to inspire the readers.

I really loved the pure and dearly relationship between Draupadi and Krishna (she is related to Krishna only as his close friend Arjuna's wife). The way she confides in Krishna the agony she experienced in the court of Hastinapura after the fateful gamble- when even her husbands didn't come to her rescue- is heart wrenching. The friendship between Krishna-Arjuna, Duryodhana-Karna is sublime. The gentlemen involved were of highest stature, they were an institution in themselves- Bhishma, Dronacharya, Kripacharya, Karna, Vidura, Drupada, Dharmaraja, Ashwathhama and even Duryodhana and Shakuni. The ladies too were of finest demeanor- Draupadi (my favorite woman character of Mahabharata- she is femininity embodied), Kunti, Amba and Gandhari. When I imagine how that time and age would have been, it brings such joy and ecstasy. Never ever I think at least India witnessed an assembly of such towering men and women. I think the human potential had reached its zenith during Mahabharata.

I had read somewhere that India is poor and weak not because of plenty of incursions and loot that plagued her, but because she couldn't see another Mahabharata happen. I had not understood its meaning then, but now it is becoming clear the prosperity of those words.

I have read only around 150 pages, and believe me it is happening to be the best book I have read- only because of its depth. Ramayana and Srimad Bhagwata are the books that I would like to read in the future. Let's see what they have to talk with me…

A fortnight with Krishna

I had bought a book on VI chapter of Bhadvad Gita last month. The book dealt in depth with meditation. What caught my attention the most was Krishna- the man. I had always thought him to be a flirter with girls, cheater for his and his friends' gain, time-passer playing flute and an extraordinary manipulator. But what shook me was the clarity and casualness with which he talks about absolute truth of life. I badly needed to understand this man. Not his life story but his attitude, his thoughts and way of life.

I got one such book- 700+ pages big. Though I am still to read another 200 pages, it is bewitching to say the least. Krishna engulfs you without you even knowing it. You slowly start losing to him. He is the most complicated and contradictory person, I have ever known. At the same time he is incredibly simple. He supports non-violence and violence in a single sentence. He talks of love and non-attachment as one and the same. For the first 200 pages, I went crazy. I did not understand anything. The philosophy of Krishna is not to have a philosophy. The way of life of Krishna is not have a way of life. His attitude is not to have an attitude. He calls losing and gaining self as same. He, in first line says that we should do all that to support non-violence and in the second line he says killing is actually not killing and saving is actually not saving. He calls empty is actually complete. He finds no other way to live life other than celebrating it. There is nothing good or bad for him. Everything is one and the same.

I was as confused as you are now, but after 500 pages I am feeling all this is not that non-sense. Krishna actually knows what life is. He lives fully and completely. We have always known sadhus, sants and sanyasis with torn robes, unkempt hair, eating stale... that's why a sanyasi like Krishna becomes indigestible.

I do not understand where I should begin and where to stop this blog. Actually I don't know why I am even writing this. I will finish this. Krishna is a rock-star.

Thank you Vinayaka

I was a jerk. Though there are still vestiges of it, but by and large I can now categorize myself a "non-jerk". It happened a few months back when it occurred to bring down the walls I and the society had created around me. Hence live a life as per my true nature and not that dictated/directed by others directly or indirectly. Live a life unshackled and free.

Though I felled the major wall alone, there were other walls which I could bring down with my friend Vinayaka's assistance. He was there when I was hammering the walls down as bricks and concrete met their grave. He could understand my state. We debated without bringing the societal norms and rules. We talked as individuals- unaffected by the goods/bads and dos/don'ts of the society. It felt so brave, so humanly. Those lengthy debates gave openness to my thoughts, my questions and my confusions. They brought to my fore my natural self- with all its beauty and ugliness. I had to accept both as mine. I have benefitted a lot by interacting with him. The openness with which we discussed everything- including our personal lives- has given me an insight into another important aspect of my being- a sense that I cannot finish with me, but have something beyond too. The last Kumaraparvata was just symbolic; we have scaled so many of Kumaraparvatas that had weakened our self. Now life looks so blissful and celebratory.

Thank you Vinayaka. Maga, please always be as you are.

What's "Decision Making"?

Last week in the calmness of an early morning, a thought flashed on my mind. None of the major events in my life are something that I decided, they just happened. So what's this hullabaloo over "decision making"?

I didn't decide which family I should be born in. I didn't decide who my parents should be. I didn't decide which school I must study in. I didn't decide who my teachers should be. I didn't decide who my classmates should be. I didn't decide who my friends should be. I didn't decide which course I should join. I didn't decide which industry I should work in. Aren't these major events in our lives? In none of these I decided.

You may not be convinced with last two examples I gave in the last para. Think about it- I joined a college/course that was popular. In your case it may be your passion. Industry too, I joined the one which payed me well. Alternatively it can be passion for technology or domain. So there was hardly anything to decide even these cases. We have two options- one is good (passion, salary etc) and another is bad (hate, indifference etc). What's there to decide here? Isn't it obvious?

Then we have options which can't be tagged good or bad exclusively. Alternatively, we have cases where there are 2 goods or 2 bads. Basically, we don't have (sufficient) facts or the options are so similar that we don't know which is better. It's like, you are walking alone in the woods, and you reach a crossroad. With no signboards or people to ask or any other help, does it make any sense to pressurize your mind to make decision. Just take any one path and walk. If you reach your destination, good, else return to the junction and take the second path.

I think there is nothing to decide upon. Let's give intelligence in us its rightful place.

Kumaraparvata Trek

Murli was the third musketeer. The thought of Kumaraparvata (KP) trek came in the last one month and like every time, all the arrangements happened in huddle at the eleventh hour- the sleeping bags, ticket booking, everything. Though we had spent a lot of effort in preparing the list of items to carry, none followed it.

We left by the 22:00 hour 'Vaibhav' bus from Majestic on 10-Feb Friday. The journey of less than 7 hours, the snoring co-passengers, the ghat and our last row seats ensured we don't get a blinkful of sleep. We reached Kukke Subramanya at 4:45. We took a room to freshen-up. Sleep to me is what CM's seat is to our former CM. I was planning of taking a nap till 7 and then start the trek. But the devil Vinayaka kicked me out of the bed and pushed me into the bathroom. The hot water on a sleep-starved body felt like heaven. We had breakfast- 2 idli and 1 vade and uppittu- at the famed Neo Mysore Cafe. At exactly 7 we started our 14 kms long trek.

Thick green forest, pin drop silence that was interrupted only by birds cooing... whoa. My heart was getting tuned to the music of Nature. Considering that it was our first trek, we were walking at a good pace. We had already informed Bhattara Mane to prepare lunch for us. Bhattara Mane is the oasis for trekkers where we can see humans and get food too. We were totally detached from civilization. The route started with level land, then moved slightly steeper and then it became so steep that we were taking breaks every 15 mins. It was easily 60-70 degs to the horizontal. Later we came to know that KP was the most difficult trek in Karnataka and people trek here after getting thorough experience. Junks that we are, we had started with this one. Though there was tremendous sweating, our bodies were cooperating. My jogs and brisk walks had saved me. We reached Bhattara mane at 11. At last we were sighting humans. The cold water flush on our faces was refreshing. The mane is serene. The mangalore tiled house, cowdung carpeted floor, the tulasi katte, the cow shed and the beautiful calves is what makes this mane. Is movement from the cuddle of Nature to urban areas really progress? We rested there for 1 hour. Had rice, sambar and buttermilk for lunch. It was elixir to the tired and sleep-thirsty body of mine.

After that comes the Forest Range office where we will have to take permission to enter the Pushpagiri santuary (where the KP is located). With the increasing cold winds blowing, our bodies had started aching- knees, back. Vinayaka and Murli were keen on stopping the trek there and spending the night at the range office. But I confused them enough to continue our trek. KP tip was still 7 kms away. This leg was tougher than the previous one. The route was getting steeper and we were taking breaks after every 10 mins. The moving was getting difficult. The density of the forest too was less. The fog was dense and cool breeze was blowing. Our chit-chat had kept us moving. We were having intense debates on - culture, philosophy and girls. I was overwhelmed by the size of our collective stupidity. We concluded that Mallu, Reddy and Punjabi boys were lucky.

3 empty bottles and 5 attendances to nature's call later we reached our next landmark- the mantapa. We had covered 4 kms from the range office. A returning group from the tip told us that there was nothing much there and due to dense fog the sight too is poor. Respecting their opinions and our body's cries, we decided to stop there. The tip was still 3 kms away. We rested there for 1 hr. The view from there is breathtaking! It was already 5 and though there were talks of spending the night there, we decided to walk back to the range office and spend the night there. We saw the beautiful sunset on our way... we sat there in silence for sometime just seeing the golden sun bid farewell. It was terrific!

Thanks to Vinni who was carrying a torch we could reach the range office without getting lost in the dark. We slid inside the warm sleeping bags after eating the food we had packed from the Bhattara mane and swallowing pain killers. Thank you to the forest officer for the arrangement, you saved 3 innocent lives.

Next day we met other trekkers- Srikanth and group who were of our age and Ramaswamy Reddy and group who were 50+. The descent was tougher than we had thought, our bodies continued to ache. Due to the pain, I was feeling every part of my body- may be this is what Baba Vasudev means by 'being aware of our body'. Was this spiritualism? Spiritualism is killing then. We had breakfast- uppittu and masala bath at the Bhatta's. We finally reached Kukke at about 12. We took a room and gave our aching and stinking bodies rest and wash. We watched India win against Aus. We had lunch at a restaurant. We visited the Adi Subramanya and Subramanya temples in the evening. At 21:00 we took the 'Vaibhav' bus back to Bangalore where-  journey of less than 7 hours, the snoring co-passengers, ghat and our last row seats ensured we don't get a blinkful of sleep.

All in all a challenging trip. It was a beautiful feeling. Yeh dil maange more!!

Thank you, Vinni and Murli. Thank you, my friend Srikanth, for helping me buy trekking merchandises and thank you all jobless buggers who actually read such a big blog. 

A tribute to Mansur

Firstly, thank you Avinash for leading me to Kannada section of book store. Then, thank you the attender there, for making me buy 'Karunalu baa belake' written by Dr. Gururaj Karajgi. It is a collection of short real life stories. Though I am yet to finish reading the book, one story particularly moved me.

We know of Mallikarjun Mansur- one of the doyens of Hindustani music. Karajgi's and Mansur's chambers were adjecent at Dharwad university. Once Karajgi dropped by Mansur's office to convey his appreciation to the great man. Mansur was alone. After a few seconds of silence, without knowing Karajgi asked Mansur to sing a song. Karajgi then realized what he done. He had asked a great music exponent to sing for him! He apologized. But Mansur asked one of his students to tune the tabla and asked Karajgi which song he wanted to listen and started singing. The involvement of the great man was such that as if was singing for recording! He had sung for a stranger- without any ego or superciliousness. Then he offered to sing another song and sang. Tears welled up in Karajgi's eyes. He touched Mansur's feet and said that he will never forget that- once Mansur who was decorated with many national and international awards had sung to him.

Reading this story, my eyes too became wet. Don't know what to call such people. This earth of ours is blessed to have people like Mansur. May their kind grow!

A trip to Mandya

It was the fag end of 2011. Had 3 Sick Leaves. Had no mood to go to office. Had no mood to stay at home.

Felt terrible at the idea of spending the entire day in Bangalore. PVR, lunch then what? I need to spend time till evening, that too economically. Decided to make a short trip. Two options- Tumkur and Mandya. These two because, I can return to Bangalore easily by 7. Went to Majestic. Tossed a coin. Mandya it was. What will I do in Mandya? Let's see.

Headed to Satellite Bus Stand. Had haap-cup chhaa. Bought Prajavani paper. Window seat in a "Kemp" bus. Yeddy had wanted to be CM... a truck had overrun a youth... Bagalkot farmers wanted fertilizer... Khanapur chaps wanted Haripriya train to stop there... a few guys wanted the VTU Vice-chancellor to go... my 'Guru' was in a favorable 'house' and my lucky number was 1... Shewag's form had dropped.

Saw my college RVCE pass by. Didn't understand why all of Kengeri was going to Mysore. Remembered my college days when we used to play cricket in Kengeri near my friend Rohit Cheta's house. I am still in awe of those rocks in Ramnagar. The whole of Ramnagar had wished Kumarswamy on his B'Day. The flexes put indicated that all the Ramnagar people had at least 2 moble phones each. A couple sitting in my front were chit-chatting non-stop. Just evesdropped. The wife seemed to be immersed in problems- the jasmine she wore was not good, the wind blowing from the window was not to her liking, unlike her mother her mother-in-law was a monster. Paid my condolences to that animal -husband and looked outside the window.

A tree had fallen on a bus. There was a traffic jam. Cops were trying to clear the road. The whole of Mandya was there seeing this "unearthly" incident. Now they need not worry how to timepass this day. It was 2.

Had lunch at a roadside hotel. Unlimited meals all for 35 Rs. Not bad. Took a stroll on 'Market Street'. I think it was a market day. There was humanity sleeping on the lawns on Ambedkar Garden. My brothers, I felt. There were banners all over the road- "Khadi Mela, Visit Today", "Karnataka Exhibition now in your city". Bought some raw channa. Had chikku juice.

Reached the bus stand. Took Bangalore bus. The driver and conductor were from Belgaum. Discussed politics. Had Maddur vade in Maddur. Our bus broke down in Ramnagar. Took another one to reach namma Bengaluru. Reached at 7. For 160 rs, I could not have asked for more.

What say?

Remembering ajji

I just read an article on Kendasampige. Written in pristine Dharwad Kannada, the author mentions about a ajji (grandmother) calling him 'Randeganda'. That reminded me of my ajji- my mother's mother. She has called me that many times and have seen her call many.

Please don't go by what it means. It didn't matter whether she wanted to praise me or scold me, this term was always there. There was warmth in that address, there was a feeling of 'mine' in that address.

I used to visit her during my summer and winter vacations. She never stopped me from anything. I was very mischievous. Destroying crops from others fields, harming their cattle, stealing objects, throwing stones at people and behaving as if it was not me are some things that I remember. All these complaints came directly to my grand-parents. But I don't remember even one instance where I was chastised. In particular by my ajji. Never.

She loved me. It didn't matter whether I have scored 1st rank or flunked my tests, it didn't matter if I looked terrible and badly needed a haircut, it didn't matter how many cups or crockery I broke she always had the same love and warmth. I remember how anxious she was when I went 'missing' one day. It was just my prank. I also remember her waiting hungrily for me to return from my tuitions, even when she was over 80, several times when she was at our house for a few months.

That love, that concern, that non-artificiality... I think are gone with her generation. Now it’s all senseless competition, all drama. Whenever we are feeling down and want someone to share it with or just cry on their shoulders, do we really find that someone who actually loves us and we don't have any hesitation in going to them as we are? Don't know where we are heading.

She is gone- 8 years back. I remember her. Feeling a bit low too, I will be fine by morning.

Tryst with 'Thane'

... I will write a blog... a 'nalla' blog... Super mama Ready... 1...2...3...4...

My friend Vinayaka and I had decided to have some raw excitement for the year end. The plan- the destination of the get away will be decided by 'chit system' just an hour before leaving. No bus/train/hotel reservations. Just take everything as it comes and make instant decisions. The chits will have all district names of Karnataka and important ones of other southern states.

It was Pondicherry. We knew that cyclone 'Thane' had hit Pondy. But there is something called respect for 'Chit Verdict', isn't it? So, no question of turning back. We reached Pondy 3 hours late. It was a terrifying sight. Storm and heavy rains were on. I had seen nothing of that sort ever. Uprooted trees, hanging electric cables, fallen electric and traffic signal poles, hazy sight and inundated roads and buildings- it reminded me of Huc town shown in 'Behind Enemy Lines'. Sign boards, EDS swinging dangerously. Every time our bus see-sawed, my heart skipped beats. No telephone network, no access to News. I didn't know what is gonna fall next and where. Nature's senseless 'tandav nritya' was on full display. Pondy was brought to its knees.

We waited helplessly in the bus. Let me admit- I was not tensed or worried for my life, but instead I was calm and it was we who had asked for raw excitement and we were just getting served its unadulterated, 24 carat variety. True, life is all about making choices. Suddenly an autowalla appeared from the blue and offered us to get us a hotel room. I was skeptical, as I imagined the rickshaw taking the aerial route right inside the Bay of Bengal. Like that car shown in Harry Potter movies and me not knowing a single spell and with no wand or broom to even give a try.

As it was New Year eve, the hotels were full. After a lot of searching, we found one. Thanks to the rickshaw driver who helped in a couple of more things also. The hotel people worked overtime to get us something to eat as we were very hungry. We kept ourselves warm. We had discussions of taking the first available bus/cab to Chennai and then to Bangalore. But we decided to stay put. We took relief in the fact that it was just a cyclone and not tsunami or volcano. All the roads were blocked; there was no way to get out of there anyways. We did a quick 'city darshan'. I know we are crazy.

Actually I had started enjoying all this, because I may not witness all this ever and this was going to be a great memory for the future.

Next day. The sky was blue and the sun smiling. The Sea gods had given us relief to 'yanjaay' the new year. Rain and storm had stopped.  Nature was back in her sexy avatar. Yes, we did all that a normal tourist does in Pondy- beaches, Aurobindo ashram, Auroville city, French Colony et al. We also had a few aftereffects of our last day's 'super' excitement. Our bike breaking down in the middle of nowhere and then getting help from JP Sir- a local youth leader. I am grateful to his selfless help, despite his narration of distasteful local murder-encounter stories. Then running from pillar to post in search of working ATMs and then food at night added the much needed 'double tadka'. It was humbling. Despite all our technological advancements and our ego, we are nothing when Nature decides to go nuts.

Then our day journey back to Bangalore is another story in itself. From Pondy to Tiruvannamalai to Krishnagiri to Hosur to Bangalore. I had a feeling someone was intentionally making all this happen.

Lastly my salutations to people of Pondy and Tamil Nadu. You are the best people I have met. Your down to earth attitude and friendly nature is inspiring. A hug to Vinayaka, who was my partner in all this and his Tamil knowledge, though amputated, was very helpful.

It was the bestest trip of my life- full of surprises, chance events and accidents. It made me feel so alive. It made me strong and confident that even under such extreme situations I can remain calm and take reasonable decisions. I may visit Pondy again, but I know I will never get this experience. I am grateful to Destiny/Chance Event or anything you may call it, that this trip happened.

Bye Pondy... Hello Colombo.